FOR MUSICIANS ONLY Building a Road Crew by George Ziemann -- June 13, 2008 Whether you're going on a world tour to support your latest album or this weekend is your first gig ever, even if your road trip's total mileage only has one digit, you need a road crew. It's not just to dodge the work of carrying shit around, as it may appear to the casual observer. It's just good sense. You don't want the drummer to strain his back and it would be equally inconvenient for a guitarist, bass player or keyboardist to smash their hands. Picking your first road crew seems like an impossible task. Like everything else in the music world (as opposed to the music business), there's a lot of luck involved. You might actually have to carry your own stuff the first few times out, heaven forbid. Asking friends to come and hear you play is like a real-life version of the p2p dilemma, except it's been going on forever and there's a way to turn it to your advantage, increasing your potential for finding worthy roadie candidates. The closer the friend is, the more likely it is that they'll show up and expect to get in without paying the cover charge or price of a ticket (your pay) because they're your friends and you should put them on the guest list. Make a band policy that the guest list consists only of people that helped you load or unload. Invite them to hear you play, then throw in, "If you help us move our gear, we'll put you on the guest list." This way, they know up front that there's a condition for being on the guest list. It's the old quid pro quo, and having a band policy gives each individual member the ability to convince even their best friends to pay the cover charge because you gave up all your spots on the guest list to people that helped you move gear. This won't solve either problem completely, but at least you have a mechanism you can fine-tune as you go along. What you're really looking for is a couple of guys (not excluding females, just not going to do the guy/girl thing because it is distracting) who like the band, want to help, and aren't really asking for anything except the opportunity to hang out with you, see how your gear is put together, offer suggestions, ask questions. Buy these guys a beer, put them on the guest list. If you have band t-shirts, give them one. Never let these guys pay you for anything. Make them feel like part of the band. Make them belong. Sooner or later, you need to start paying them. But while you're still working the hometown scene, the barter system ought to hold up pretty well. Sound and Lights Everyone thinks they can do this stuff, but most of them are lying or delusional. Your job is to see through this and identify the proper candidate. Lights I have to confess up front that I am not a lights guy, although I've done it passably in a concert setting, including manning a spotlight. But I don't have the visual creativity you need for lights. I pick things at random, but do it in time with the music, so it gets me by, although each and every time I've done lights, the conversation goes something like this: "Dude, we need someone to do lights tonight." "I can't do lights." "Sure you can. Any idiot can do lights. Just push these buttons. This is the master. At the end of the song, turn them off for a second or two." Of course, running the lights is only a small part of this job. First, you've got to get them up in the air to be useful -- and wired, aimed, gels selected, bulbs replaced. If you are scared of heights or ladders, you might want to see if you can help the drummer or something. Any idiot can run lights, but it's the guy who will set them up and tear them down that gets the job. Sound A few years ago, a guy who wanted to do sound asked me, "Where do you go to learn this?" "Every bar between Detroit and Colorado, from Iola, Kansas to The Pas, Manitoba." While I was kind of trying to be a smartass, the "put it up, play, take it down" routine that you go through on the road will teach you more than you could possibly learn in any classroom setting. In fact, the classroom will put foolish notions into your head that won't apply in the wild. Here's what a beginning sound guy needs to know, which should prove helpful if you want to be one or add one to your crew: Right vs. Left If you have to stop to figure out which is your left hand, don't touch my fucking PA system. Basic Electronics Go to a college bookstore and buy the textbook for Electronics 101. You need to know Ohm's Law, the difference between resistors, capacitors, diodes, transistors, and the concept of a signal path. If this is too hard, try lights. What you're really looking for is harder to define. You need someone who hears relative volumes of the instruments and hasn't already lost the high end of their hearing. Most of all, you need someone that listens well. He (or she) will ask questions of all the players, concerning things like tension of the drum heads and their intonation, guitar tone, bass frequencies, line noise, mic placement and selection, feedback, monitors, crossovers, EQ, effects. He'll want to stand on the stage sometimes to hear what it sounds like where you are. You never have to wonder where he is because he's always right there, trying to make it just a teeny bit better. At least that's the way I always did it.

FOR MUSICIANS ONLY... "For Musicians Only" is a category of articles written for specifically for the musicians out there in Readerville.