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Yes, They Really ARE That Stupidby George Ziemann -- November 28, 2007 If you watch the music industry too closely, you tend to get the mistaken impression that there is some sort of master evil plan that the international cartel has going that will, in the long run, make some sort of twisted sense. There is no master plan. There isn't any plan at all, which is a sure sign that the artists don't need them any longer. The most striking evidence appeared yesterday in an article by Seth Mnookin at Wired, about his meeting with Universal's CEO, Doug Morris. The Vulture's column at newyorkmag.com offers the headline Mnookin probably should have used in the first place: Universal Music CEO Doug Morris Speaks, Recording Industry in Even Deeper Shit Than We Thought
Morris explains that the industry's inability to recognize where digital was going is because they were stupid. "There's no one in the record company that's a technologist. That's a misconception writers make all the time, that the record industry missed this. They didn't. They just didn't know what to do. It's like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney. What would you do?" What?!? This guy's been paying radio for years to get his music on it. Suddenly, this internet thing comes along and it's kind of the same thing, except you don't have to write a check. An almost free promotion and publicity opportunity. It's like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney?? No, it's more like putting water into bottles. "We didn't know who to hire," he says. "I wouldn't be able to recognize a good technology person - anyone with a good bullshit story would have gotten past me." This line of reasoning may or may not be a valid excuse for Universal, but Sony should have known better than the whole rootkit thing. Sony has no excuse. I always thought part of the master plan was to create a new generation of devices, along with a new format, forcing everyone to buy the White Album for the 10th time. When Morris' assistant suggests that maybe they should have insisted on one format when Steve Jobs showed up, Morris says, "It never crossed anyone's mind!" "We were just grateful that someone was selling online. The problem is, he became a gatekeeper. We make a lot of money from him, and suddenly you're wearing golden handcuffs. We would hate to give up that income." Ironically, the rest of the article is about how badly Morris wants to do exactly that, and his new scheme to accomplish it -- with more DRM. Over at Warner, the head honcho (who used to own Universal Music and is now running third in an industry with only four players) thinks the whole music war thing was a big accident. EMI's new owners profess to want transparent accounting and ethical business practices. It'll take a few years just to unravel what the industry spent decades trying to hide. Then there's Sony, which probably makes as much money selling CD burners, blank media and mp3 players as it does selling music. And, at last report, Sony still hasn't paid the Bay City Rollers the $80 million they owe them. They came out with "It's all about the artists" and "the pirates are stealing our stuff". Much chest-puffing and harumphing took place. Despite their anti-competitive, monopolistic practices, collusion, control fetish and feeble lawsuits, every country in the world kissed their ass for too long. And when push came to shove, most of the artists did, too. The RIAA/IFPI (and several other acronyms representing the same companies) was actually given an opportunity to create the evil cartel that we seem to think they are. But they couldn't pull it off. There is no master plan. No grand scheme. They don't know what to do. Never really did. Maybe it was all a big accident. If you ever convinced yourself that there must be an ulterior motive behind any particular move the RIAA makes because people running multi-billion dollars business can't possibly be that stupid, this is the part that you should try to remember: "If you had Coca-Cola coming through the faucet in your kitchen, how much would you be willing to pay for Coca-Cola? There you go," he says. "That's what happened to the record business." Funny thing is, water does come right out of your faucet. It's not free, but almost. In spite of this, people actually buy bottled water. In fact, when the end-of-the-year numbers all come in, I expect to see that the bottled water industry is now larger than the recording industry. A band like Radiohead comes along, puts out an unprotected mp3 of their newest album on the honor system, and even though half of the 1.2 million people who downloaded it paid nothing (including Thom Yorke), the band averaged $6 per "sale," which is probably three times what they could have earned with a standard record contract. Radiohead figured out how to bottle water. So can every artist whose contract comes up for renewal. You can, too, if you're a musician. But it's simply too far out there for the CEO of the world's largest record company to comprehend. "It's like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney." I can't help imagining Joe Rock Star Signed to Universal reading that and saying a variety of things, depending on the rock star, ranging from, "That old dude rocks. I don't understand any of that crap either and they're stealing my stuff. He's just watching my back" all the way to "I can't believe I work for this moron." The scenarios are almost infinite, but they're all funny in their own way, especially if your rock star of choice has a British accent and you imagine them really, really wasted when they read it. Why This is a Good ThingMuch to your surprise, there is a point to all of this apparent rambling. The RIAA, et al, are now in the way of the progress of the art of music. Not because they have an evil plan to retain control. Because they're just stupid. And it's not a joke this time. Even though they claim to sell 90% of the "legitimate" product on the market, part of that is simply because they ignore most of the independents that have managed to sell some records on our own, outside the mainstream. All you need is a website. We outnumber them by at least 10,000 to one, but they've been making all of the rules and, by all accounts, they don't seem to have much of a clue about much of anything at all. The time has come for the independents to step up and take over. The big dogs don't smell steak or cats, so they're busy protecting their back yard because somebody's stealing their stuff. Or maybe they're just been locked in the back yard. There is nothing stopping untethered musicians from accomplishing things far beyond that which the major labels might dream up. In fact, you almost can't help it. |
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I've
been making fun of the industry execs for a while and, after
reading the Wired article, I almost feel guilty about it now.
To put it nicely, Morris is no Einstein.