General Why Isn't My House Out-Thinking My Dog Yet? Slate's 2009 Question of the Year: If a Siamese Twin Commits Murder, Does His Brother Get Punished, Too? What's the real reason men like fast cars? If the guy stealing your car turns into a goat, how long do police have to keep it in custody waiting for it to turn back into a person? Why does he keep forgetting to update this page? Does God ever take sides in a sporting event? How do you steal an Olympic-size swimming pool? Where's the law that says you have to pay income tax? Why aren't there more protests against the war in Iraq? Who are you going to sue this holiday season, and, more vitally, who is going to sue you?   Health and Personal Safety Why does the gunslinger who draws first always get shot? If you get crushed, is that bad for your kindeys? Who lives longer -- fat and out of shape people, or slim and fit ones? What should you do when monkeys attack? Which is better for you -- butter or margarine? Is sword swallowing dangerous? If I don't eat, will I be hungry? Summertime pro tip -- Can you cook in your car?   National Security What sort of authorization do telephone companies require before turning over customer phone records to the FBI?   Parenting My kid is a little damp. Can I just throw him in the dryer? Do rich kids have more money than poor students?   Science If normally unmotivated people think a task is fun, will they do better at it? Why don't we have fur? If you hold a "cigar show" in a hotel, will there be smoke in the air? UFOs -- People suddenly want to talk about UFOs again, which brings to mind a personal burning question. When all the civilian air traffic was grounded on and after Sept. 11, did anyone see a UFO? You'd think they would have been easier than ever to spot. What happens when you give an elephant 3,000 hits of LSD? Bonus Questions answered on same page: If you tell airplane passengers that they are about to die in a crash, will this effect their ability to do a written test? Can you graft the head, shoulders and front legs of a puppy on to the neck of a German shepherd dog? How are the "reasoning skills" of people who always bounce checks, miss flights, and are easily influenced by advertising? Entertainment After 22 drug convictions, why isn't Pete Dougherty in jail? Why does Kentucky Fried Chicken use "Sweet Home Alabama" for their theme song? Why is it OK to saw someone's head off but not OK to say the f-word? Can you say anything nice about Universal Music? Does Metallica Suck? Can the RIAA Sue Your Car? You think it's funny now, but if it's downloading tunes off the Internet, there will be a lawsuit sooner or later. Is the iPod's shuffle feature really random? Or does it prefer Steely Dan? English Slang Americans Don't Understand Punter -- From a BBC story: "But hopes that racing punters would be allowed to place legal bets on opening day were dashed by protests by animal rights activists..." The question: What's a punter? Answer -- A gambler. To "take a punt" is to take a gamble. Answer courtesy of one of Carl Hayden's clients in London. "Punter," along with "boffin," also seems to connotate the public at large. Yob -- I thought this was an anagram for "young obnoxious brats," judging from the context I always saw it used. In reality, it's an example of backwards slang, according to an English author I met a few months back. Yob means boy, so I was still pretty on the mark. Spiv -- Another backwards slang, the derogatory version of VIPs.

Heard on Fox News "How is the ground phase going to differ from the air attacks?"   Drinking Do College Students Get More Drunk When Drinks are Cheap? If you live next to a liquor store, will you drink more? Does binge drinking effect your judgment?   Math How many Code Pink moms does it take to inimidate the U.S. Marines? Is 50,000 tons a lot of oil? Odd Quotes "...police did not realize they had anything other than a run-of-the mill maniac on their hands." (from a Crime Library story) "We want them indoctrinated, to continually think that they're not safe here." (A Bushism, I believe) "raising his eyebrows shamelessly for applause as his back leg whirled like a wayward propeller." (description of Groucho Marx) "We joins us once again in our New York studio." (Either CNN or Fox) "...the mouth was wide open, exposing teeth, which were tightly clenched down on the victims tongue." Is it even possible to clench your teeth and keep your mouth wide open at the same time? "He doesn't understand why anyone would want to explore the utility tunnels that span most of the campus, connecting under many of the buildings." Gee, let's think a second, what would college students want to hide in an underground space to do? This guy didn't have a speck of imagination. "He read so much that he eventually wore his eyes out, requiring thick, jar-bottom glasses." He wore his eyes out? WTF? "His music is passable, but with certain performers, it's more about persona than anything else." The guy sucks but, hey, he looks good doing it.